Monthly Archives: October 2010

But God.

Good morning.

Well, it’s still morning to me… I don’t get to sleep in very often so I am taking advantage of it this weekend!!

In case you were wondering, which I know you are, this morning consists of amazing coffee that I am proud to announce I made myself, the band Freelance Whales (whom you should listen to), my roommates, some heavenly smell coming from the kitchen (that means Blair is in there), and my momma’s newest book.

I am going to be completely honest and let you know that I have never actually read one of her books before. And she has what… now close to 15 or something published? Well, once I did a book report on one… but she wrote the report. And I would go through the others and look for stories about me, but that’s about it. The newest addition to her collection is called, Do You Know Who I Am? Since I have given every copy I own away, I am reading my roommate’s while she is out of town. And I just gotta say, Ma, I am so impressed. It’s been so interesting growing up in the environment that I have, and I think I’m at the point where my heart is open enough to see past the fact that it’s my mother writing these books. I can think about it in a different way now.

I’m only in the 2nd chapter but so far I am far from disappointed. Thus far, my favorite is when she tells about her life as if no one would accept her, a broken down Jesus girl (we use that term a lot in my family), but God swooped down and scooped her up to show her the beautiful plan he had for her life. She says in the next line, “I love saying, ‘But God.'”

love that.

She truly is my mama, cause I can’t express how much joy it gives me when I tell people my story and begin the ending like that… but God. What a privilege it is that I even get a chance to say that. Thanks Jesus for all the talent you have given my mother, and how you use her in others’ lives.

On a different note, God has been revealing so much to me through my job. First off, my relationships with the kids has sky rocketed. Like I am so thankful to be a part of all these kids lives. Lately, I have been dealing with one kid in particular who has such a hard home life. It has been so hard to watch. If you’ve ever made a call to CPS, you know how difficult they can be. It seems to me like no one has compassion for anyone else’s problems or feelings. Watching this young boy’s life be torn apart by a selfish parent has been so hard for me. I think I often tend to take on other people’s problems, but in some respect I think that makes me care more. More than anyone else in his life anyways. It’s been so humbling that these kids will come to me with things they wouldn’t tell anyone else. It is making me re-think my career choice. I don’t know if I want to be a teacher, because that would mean lesson plans and grading papers and not that those things are bad but it would be wasted time that I could be spending listening to a child that really just needs to talk, ya know? I want to be right there in the middle of everything happening. I want to go into that abusive home and physically save the child myself. I know I won’t always be able to do that but I know I can always find someway to help. God is really turning thoughts over in my head lately. The things I am passionate about are truly being revealed. Right now, my biggest passion is these kids. Yeah maybe sometimes my 6th graders don’t listen when I ask them to be quiet, but that’s because they really just need a friend. And I am completely honored that somehow they’ve found that in me.

I think it’s funny that I applied for positions at Christian schools and public schools alike, but God knew what he was doing when he placed me among these hurting kids coming from hurting families who needed to see the love of Christ.

I am so blessed.

Well, that’s enough for now. I’ll keep you updated on what I decide to do in my life…. well that could take years. Then I’ll keep you posted on the events that lead up to that moment.

Oh also, one of my best friends is getting married. We are trying on wedding dresses today. Well just her… but if you’d like to pray that God brings me that man it wouldn’t hurt anything. ;]

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